I did some energy work yesterday. Anyone that knows me or reads my blog knows that I’m a big advocate of energy healing and I do it frequently and that it has changed my life, 100% for the better in ways and with words we do not have in the human language to describe. Our words, our languages are so one dimensional compared to what I feel and see when I do this work that it makes me sad and/or frustrated sometimes because I want to share this potent joy and dynamism with the world but I just cannot find the words.
And I have a good vocabulary, yo.
Artists are definitely more connected to that power, that place, that world. With art and photography I can capture more of the essence of my experiences and share what I see, feel and learn. If only I could draw instead of needing to scour the web for the right image but I can’t so you’ll just have to trust me that it’s close enough but it ain’t the full monty.
I’ve been doing this work for about a year now, I don’t do it daily or even weekly; I don’t have a schedule of any kind with it I just do it when I feel I need it or now when I know I am going into an important situation that calls for clarity, power and peace. Yoga is another way for me to reach that place of serene calm and I practice regularly but I have yet to be able to reach the places I go to in the same way as when I do energy healing work.
Wikipedia defines “Energy Medicine” in the following context: “Energy medicine, energy therapy, energy healing, or spiritual healing a branch of complementary and alternative medicine, holds the belief that a healer can channel healing energy into the person seeking help by different methods: hands-on, hands-off, and distant (or absent) where the patient and healer are in different locations. There are various schools of energy healing. It is known as biofield energy healing, spiritual healing, contact healing, distant healing, therapeutic touch, Reiki or Qigong. Spiritual healing is largely non-denominational: practitioners do not see traditional religious faith as a prerequisite for effecting a cure.”
I’m no expert but I could certainly talk about all the levels of my own experience and how it’s changed me. I have always been a fun, happy party kind of gal with a pretty smile and a penchant for being the first on the dance floor. I also have a lot of dark places in my heart and apparently my soul that needed some serious spring cleaning, if you will. I’ve always “partied” or liked to “get high” as most all of my friends that I have ever known. Birds of a feather.
Common knowledge tells us that using substances of any kind – pot, cocaine, alcohol, food, crystal meth – whatever it is that “does it” for you is a mask. You are hiding your pain and escaping from your reality. It starts out as “fun” and then one day out of nowhere it becomes a crutch. It layers and weaves itself into the fabric of your life to the point where it defines you. Suzy loves that skunk bud, Lisa gets the best blow, Melanie’s always got a case of Pinot Noir in the house and a glass in hand at her 11am lunch dates and Amy keeps Twinkies and Reduced-Fat Wheat Thins stashed in her desk drawer at work.
Her husband doesn’t pay attention to her, she’s stressed out, ya know?
Okay. So here I am in Miami and I’m trying to change and not let all that stuff define me anymore. I don’t think I knew that at the time that I got here but it is what I now know for sure what I came here to do. I may like to be a slave in the bedroom but a slave to chemical warfare? No thank you.
Why am I a slave to it?
Skeletons in the closet that may not have been put there by me but once inside have worked quietly behind the scenes for years cackling, laughing, rubbing their brittle boney hands together while I built up more layers of the gunk with my masks.
In my energy healing sessions I have visions. A session starts out like this; I make an appointment with my healer who lives out of state. We arrange a time that works for us both to “connect”. No telephone, computers, cell phones, hypnosis, drugs or instructions of any kind. I don’t need to tell him what is “wrong” with me nor does he have to “see” me first. He just connects with me energetically.
People always ask, “how does he know it’s you? How does he find you?” Yes it is totally wild and unfathomable and raises all kinds of red flags for people. I’m not a scientist, I don’t really know. He wrote a book called “The Galaxy Healers Guide” which I love for its unpretentious and friendly writing that doesn’t make me feel like a complete idiot for not knowing what Hz or cps are - scientific terms that are used in many books that discuss energy healing work utilize those terms and more and I just can’t. Sorry. I went to college but really, I majored mostly in Sorority, lol.
In ‘galaxy healers’ he equates the connection to sending an email. You have an email address and so do I. I write to you and click send and the email is launched into the web and follows the path of the address you entered. It works the same with energy healing. We all have a universal path or energetic code that is uniquely traceable to us.
Still hard to conceptualize? I know. Don’t knock yourself out, just listen to my story.
We make the appointment for lets say 1pm on Saturday. I find a quiet place to lay down (you don’t have to but I like to) without any distractions so I can just chill and be present for the work. Immediately, I feel something. A tingling, more than a tingling. Energy. It’s all around you, your feet, your legs, your stomach, your heart, your hands, your fingers, your head, your sinuses, your kidneys – sometimes all at the same time, some places more strongly than others. And then suddenly, I start to have visions. Not fantasies, not “picture a pretty place where you walk up a staircase to a place you love” like hypnotists may direct you to do but visions.
Usually my visions are superphasmantagorical. Yes that’s right. Expialadocious. Do re me fa so la ti. I see all kinds of amazing scenarios and visuals that now I believe is the way my human brain or my spirit can process the work that is being done. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, right? Right. So while he is working on me and sees whatever he sees (which is most definitely not what I see, at least that’s what he says although sometimes I think he can see that too but wants to spare me from being self conscious) I have visions. They are always glorious and grand and while I have a very healthy imagination there is no way that I would ever come up with some of the stuff that I see on my own.
No way.
Yesterday was a pretty average day, I was doing some work and feeling really good actually. I wasn’t feeling like I needed to do any energy work but a friend of mine wanted to buy me a gift for helping her out and wound up buying me a session with my healer. I had told her that I wanted her to just buy a session for herself and that would make me happy, I don’t need anything really and it would give me great joy for her to experience a session with him. That would be my gift, for her to be healed. I’m so benevolent! :)
Really I meant it but she still bought it for me anyway. So my healer got in touch with me to let me know and asked if I wanted to do it right then and I said, “sure, why not?”
I always feel like a super-hero after a session and I become so energetically attractive I swear people wind up being extra nice to me or even giving me things or telling me I am a goddess. Seriously. I’m cute and all but supermodel or even catalog model not even close; it’s like a magic elixir that makes me so attractive to other people. Also, my voice flows like a beautiful stream of clear, natural water flowing gently over the smoothest rocks in the deepest and most quiet part of an Amazonian rain forest.
Oh Yeah.
So I go to my sofa and lay down and bam-pow-boom I start to feel the whir. That’s a good word, whir. A vibrational frequency. I feel it and oh, wow–I’m kind of uncomfortable? I start flipping around and I feel my breath get shallow so I close my eyes and say “relax…breathe” so I try but I can’t. I start to cry. I toss and turn and then I see it. I see them. I’m in outer-space and looking upwards I open my mouth to the universe and out of me streams – projectiles – a spinning, angry vortex of hundreds of skeletons; angrily twisted and connected and screaming and clawing and just purging.
Those fuckers didn’t want to leave.
I saw they were tied into the vortex with some kind of universal cord that connected them through the core of my being down through my “feet” and out into the universe. Into the vastness of space. Holy shit that was scary. Angry, screaming skeletons are tied in a vortex through to the core of my soul and out into the universe?
Somebody pass the dutchie I need to get high and forget about that.
I got up from the sofa. I was pissed. I was more than pissed I was furious. I welled up with anger and more anger and I don’t have the words for the swell of anger that I felt. In my mind still coming out of the vision, I screamed into space, “FUCK YOU!!!!”
I told my healer how I felt afterwards and he said, “it was all gathered up into a huge ball of fire that was slowly removed and tossed in the air where it burst into fireworks! It turned into a celebration!” All I could think at the time was, “celebrate this (middle finger in the air to no one)!”
I fretted and went out onto my balcony to smoke cigarettes and cry and stop myself from throwing and braking everything in my house.
Angry vortex of skeletons indeed.
He wrote something else to me that I paid attention to and allowed to sink in. After having done so much energy work I am aware that it’s a process and not a quick fix. I knew that there was a reason I saw what I saw and felt what I felt. It’s no longer, “why me” although there is still a little of that in there it’s more, “what does this mean” and I wait a while to allow myself to figure it out. I was so mad that I was still so angry…I wanted to know why still so much anger and if it was my karmic destiny to just be angry forever?????
I didn’t ask him this but still he wrote, “this shows how much great work you’ve done on yourself, you’ve peeled these layers and healed to the point of releasing these! Let them fly, you are feeling them, but they are only passing-don’t sit in them, it will slip past and you’ll be free <3″
As I write this now I am crying. Not out of sadness but out of gratitude. I threw up in outer-space and released lord knows how many years and maybe even past lives of layers of heavy gunk and deep-rooted junk thick with pain and sorrow and wait – what? Anger.
Is it gone forever? Is it all gone? I know enough now after all this work to know that I don’t know. To be aware. To be patient. To be kind to myself and remember that there is no quick fix ever and that indeed, Rome was not built in one day. But today, I am happy.
“Brick by brick my citizens, brick by brick.” - Roman Emperor Hadrian
~ Namaste
